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At this place, you can take your dog inside with you when you come in
to buy yourself a pastry. Fat lot of good that does him, too.
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There's a sort of dignified sad look to this guy's face, mostly because
of that fur on his head that approximates eyebrows, and maybe the position
of his ears. I would've hugged him if I hadn't been on my way somewhere,
and also the owner was probably nearby and would've thought I was weird.
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Included for scale with this picture of the Most Pathetic Chihuahua-Lookin'-Dog Ever
is the parking meter he was tied to. It's sort of like hitching your single-engine
dinghy to a skyscraper.
I never said I was the master of simile, now did I?
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Look at him! He's all, "Wait, where are you going? What did you just tie me to? Is this some
kind of dimensional portal? It is, isn't it?"
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"All right, you can go, but if your ass isn't back here in five minutes, I'm going back
through the portal to the universe we came from. That's right, the one that looks and
smells suspiciously like this one I'm in now, but it's the universe where you give me a biscuit
sometimes for no reason at all."
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One morning I'm at a stoplight and this pulls up next to me.
The only thought in this dog's tiny brain is that of escape from the music that's
playing on the radio. My camera doesn't have a zoom, so it doesn't quite capture the
desperation in his eyes, but trust me, it was there.
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Sitting placidly outside some kind of shoe shop in the upper Haight is the dog with the
single weirdest coat I've ever seen. What is he, part bobcat or something? Who said
genetic engineering was a pipe-dream? Look at him!
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I think it may be physically impossible to get a dignified photo of an Irish setter.
They just don't let you do it. Catching this guy in mid-lick makes him look kind of pensive
at least, don't you think? Like he's concentrating really hard on the task at hand?
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In direct contrast to the previous picture, this has got to be one of the most
dignified dogs I've ever seen. Fuck, he's practically the canine equivalent of Bruce
Wayne. Even with a bandanna on, he pulls this off.
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"Are you my mommy?" That's what this look says.
Note the following things:
- Not only are his eyes two different colors, his left eye itself is two colors.
And it wasn't some kind of retinal rupture or something; the iris was actually half blue,
half brown.
- This is another one of those shaggy/soft-type dogs I really wanted to pet, but I
decided against it at the last minute.
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Another in-store dog. I like how his wagging tail is just a blur. This was a happy
dog.
Not at all like the sanctimonious, bowel-obstructed employee wearing a stupid hat
who came up to me just after
this picture was taken and told me pictures weren't allowed
in the store. I forget the name of the place -- Magic Eye Books or something? (on
the corner of Gough and Hayes, I think) -- but now that you've seen this photo and
divined all of their precious business secrets from it, I can rest satisfied
in the knowledge that I've taken my vengeance.
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