THIS STILL NEEDS TO HAPPEN

I don't know why I'm not inured to the fact that sometimes when I ride the bus* I'm going to be exposed to a long, boring conversation being held on the phone by some witless blabbermouth with no sense of self-awareness. I'm not talking about a conversation that just goes "Hi, I'm on the bus, just wanted to let you know I'll be ten minutes late. See you" -- I mean the kind of thing that might last for the entire bus ride and is chock-full of information nobody ever wanted to hear.**

The next time this happens, I'm tempted to take out a piece of paper and scribble notes, and hand it to the person at the end of the ride. "Emily should probably break up with Brad. Your roommate (Jordan?) was right to move your easy chair, since it was blocking access to the DVD shelf. The farmer's market on Alemany is usually better than the one in the Ferry Building, but the Ferry Building one has a wider selection of wild mushrooms. You should probably rethink your trip to Paris with Rick -- he sounds like a douchebag."

Those of you following me on twitter, that's the kind of thing whose existence I was wondering about. Not overheardinnewyork or whatever -- those things are actually funny.

* Mostly the Presidio shuttle, which hasn't happened a lot lately since I tend to ride my bike to work on non-band-practice days

** I know I've blogged about this already, but god dammit

WHEN NOTES FAIL, SORT OF

I have a little notebook I keep in my pocket that serves as kind of an externalized memory in a loose GTD sort of system. One type of page that keeps getting consistently filled is the one labeled "ideas," but every once in while I come across something in there that baffles me, even though I wrote it. In this case: "branded wing gloves." What in the noise is that all about.

Oh! I remember: I sometimes like to wear disposable nitrile gloves when I eat wings* to save myself the hassle of having to thoroughly wash my hands. I wondered if restaurants that specialize in wings might want to think about offering these, with their own logos stamped on them for memorabilia purposes.

I've got others, but they'll cost you ten thousand dollars apiece to hear. They're that good.

* There was a box of 'em for cheap at Costco. Also useful for handling raw chicken, cutting up jalapenos, or putting together buttons.

SOMETHING IS GOING ON

I was just going to tell you guys that I updated the Dogblog yesterday, but someone has brought something else to my attention this morning: an inexplicably catchy reggae Radiohead cover album. I normally hate reggae (no offense to the great Caribbean tradition), but the Toots and the Maytals version of "Let Down" is basically party-ready. I don't know either, doggs.

JOINING THE CYBORG BRIGADE

Starting tomorrow it'll be illegal to talk on a cellphone while driving unless you're using a hands-free unit. Which means I'm going to have to go get one of those Bluetooth things. I hope

- that Verizon hasn't decided to gouge people for them (that sound you hear is the eternal but faint voice of optimism)
- that I can find one that doesn't make me look like a complete douchebag

Sure, I'm only ever going to wear this thing while I'm driving, but that doesn't mean I need to let shit slide. My only real goal is to find one without an LED on it; why would I need status lights on a Bluetooth headset? It's not like I can see the fucking thing while I'm wearing it.

Fingers crossed, people.

AROUND THE WORLD AROUND THE WORLD

If this doesn't autoplay, I don't know what to tell you. It should autoplay. Volume and pause control's on the left-hand side of the page. Just let it wash over you. It's only two and a half minutes. You should have two and a half minutes to spare in your life.

REALLY? INTERESTING

I just received the strangest compliment. A coworker told me she loves watching me eat, because I basically appreciate whatever food I'm chomping on with my whole being. This is indisputably true; I just thought it was a strange thing for someone else to have noticed. This coworker, btw, was not flirting with me; she just notices things about people. She says I should do commercials.

I don't know if it's strange or not that every time someone compliments me on something new, my first fleeting instinct is to wonder whether that person is fucking with me.

HELLO OUT THERE IN RADIO LAND

This one's shorter notice because nobody needs to physically go anywhere. That's right! The Definite Articles will be dominating the airwaves on "Live in Studio A" on KDVS 90.3 out of Davis, CA, tomorrow (Thursday) night at 11pm Pacific Standard. Don't bother with hauling your meat carcass to some venue or burning gas looking for parking and all that Web 1.0 bullshit -- you can listen over the internet with the power of extreme digital transcode flux streaming. New material may be aired. The future begins tomorrow night.