I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION

This video has been around for almost a year now, and according to the stats has been viewed a staggering number of times (over 1.3 million), so chances are pretty good it's old news. But still.

I want an explanation for this.

What are these chickens doing? Who do they think they are, getting all up in these rabbits' business? Why do this? Do chickens have an innate drive toward the establishment of order? I need to know the reason for this behavior.

DID NOBODY THINK ABOUT THIS

I want to be absolutely clear up front that this is something I am 100% completely in favor of.

However.

What are we going to do about the dog shit?

Seriously. This was literally the first thing that popped into my mind. Did nobody think to address this? Have these people never walked upon a sidewalk in San Francisco? There are dogs in this town. Those dogs produce shit on a pretty regular basis. Sometimes it falls on the sidewalk. People use plastic grocery bags to clean it up, usually pretty effectively. Now what? What is to be the plan, going forward? This is information I would like to know, and it seems almost unbelievably stupid of them not to tell us what they think is going to happen.

The only way I'm going to let this article off the hook is if it turns out dog shit is considered impolite to discuss on CNN.com. Which let's face it, when you think about all the stuff CNN has had to report on, seems unlikely.

THE MARCH OF PROGRESS

I will give you one reason why science is unstoppable -- indeed, why science should never be stopped, and that is this primitive beat-detecting robot developed by a CMU grad student called Keepon. Wait until about 0:50, when Keepon really starts to hit his stride. If this doesn't brighten your day, we are no longer friends. There is nothing I can do about this.

Additionally, I can't stop thinking about how badly I want to see Keepon dance to Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy."

A PARALLEL TP UNIVERSE

You must have noticed this: Anytime you go to the bathroom in a public location and toilet paper is involved, do you invariably encounter a massive roll of unperforated paper that's like an inch too narrow? What in the noise is that all about? I mean, I can understand maybe the unperforated bit -- maybe it complicates the manufacturing process? -- but why does public restroom toilet paper have to be so damn narrow? It's like trying to clean up with a gas station receipt or something. I end up having to use more, just so I can fold it into a complicated multilayered shape that approximates the width of the TP I'm used to. This should not be. Manufacturers of industrial-size TP surely have homes to return to at night, where one might hope they would crap at least occasionally. Do none of them look at the paper in their hand at night and think to themselves, "It might be a good idea to make my company's TP this wide. After all, it's what I'm used to." No? Why not.

SOUND MYSTERY

Maybe thirty minutes ago, as I was sitting here in my room, I heard a siren go off outside that I've never heard before in the four or so years I've been living in the Presidio, louder and deeper than any automobile-based siren could be. After it wound down, a deep, amplified voice spoke some words that I couldn't make out. I don't know if it was related. I could not identify the source of the voice.

I've heard noises like the following before:

- A police siren
- A cop talking into a megaphone saying "Pull over!"

This was not that. I wonder what was going on. I swear I am not making any of this up.

SMALL SCIENCE QUESTION

Does the kind of radiation used by microwave ovens kill such as viruses and bacteria? Microwaves work by exciting water molecules, right? I guess what I'm wondering is whether the level of excitation is enough to rupture them before bringing them to a boil or whatnot.

You'll have to pardon me; my analytical mind is not at its best right now. I've got a cold that includes easily the sorest throat I've had in years; it feels like I've swallowed a disc maybe two inches across with razor-sharp edges and it got stuck in a Bad Location.

REAL QUICK-LIKE

So winter arrived late here in San Francisco and only lasted about three weeks, apparently? Because it seems like it's time to move on already? This ... I don't know. I like nice weather and all, but global warming just makes me apprehensive instead of celebratory now.

Not that I was ever celebratory about the phenomenon of global warming itself, just glad to have a nice day every now and then. Is all.

INSTANT THERAPY

I slept weird on my neck not last night, but the night before, and I still don't have the full range of motion back. Well, no, I do, it's just that it hurts. It seems unfair to me that a couple hours' worth of bad positioning results in two days of paying for it.

WELCOME TO MY BLOOOOOOOG