WHAT IS WRONG, TECHNOLOGY

I think I need to get a new stereo for my car. It's one of those units that plays both regular audio CDs and burned mp3 discs, but lately it's been behaving ... oddly. What it boils down to is, I can't play mp3 discs

- First thing in the morning
- Anytime after the sun has gone down, basically

I wonder if it has something to do with cold or condensation or something? The thing is, when I'm starting my car up from a dead stop after being left alone all day at work, mp3 functionality is fine, but then again it's also been in the hot sun all day. Starting it first thing in the morning after a long sunless night is a whole 'nother story. Audio CDs always work, but mp3s? Never right away. I have to "warm up" the stereo with at least the first two or three tracks of an audio CD first. When I'm starting the car at night, same thing. Sometimes mp3s are OK, but I have to put up with hideous bubbling and skips for the first 10 minutes or so.

People, what's going on. Is my stereo getting senile. That's it, isn't it. I didn't know machines could do that.

MOVIE CRUNCH

I still haven't seen Batman Begins. Know that this makes me less of a Batman fan, and this causes me woe and strife. I will see it! I will see it. The fact that War of the Worlds comes out in two days does not make it much easier, either, people.* Maybe ... maybe I'll just see them both this weekend somehow. I wonder how the crowds in the city for the Fourth will compare to the ones from this past weekend (which was, almost unbeknownst to me until the very last second, Gay Pride Weekend). SHIT, then Fantastic Four is out next damn week. What in the balls is going on. I kind of wish I didn't have to wait until September for Serenity.

Wait, what do I mean, "kind of"?

HUARGLHLARHUHBLRH

* You're not going to see a Tom Cruise comment from me because it is basically tired as hell to have any sort of opinion on the dude/whatever nimbus of attention surrounds him, and I've got other things to spend braincycles on.

IT HAPPENED

Dogblog update today (technically, it went up last night, but I am not one of those people who keeps track of that sort of thing). It really doesn't feel like a month since my last one, but that's what happens when you are addicted to potato-based snacks.

Seriously, let's not stop talking about Tato Skins. What the hell happened to those things? Why did they fail to, as my brother put it, "escape the wrath of the 90s"? Didn't we all love them enough? Didn't we?

DEAL: WHAT IS

Don't tell me you don't remember Tato Skins, motherfuckers.

"Tato Skins got baked potato appeal, cause they're made with potatos and skins that are real. Tato Skins from Keebler, baked potato appeal!"

Right? The bag looked kind of like this? Don't tell me you don't remember.

Anyhow, they're sort of back. Sort of. Which leads me to my question. Why only the one flavor? I'm serious. This is the only flavor I can find, and only in two places: The vending machine in the break room at my office, and in slightly larger bags at Target, of all places. That's it. But always and only the cheddar bacon kind. What the hell, people. Since when did a snack company forgo plain and skip right to cheddar bacon?

Not that I'm complaining. Cheddar bacon is good. But I have this sneaking suspicion that the Friday's people are selling us repackaged old-skool cheddar bacon Tato Skins that they stumbled across packed into an abandoned mineshaft after Tato Skins dropped off the market for no apparent reason.

My theory cannot be logically excluded, people. Although it's not like I really care. Do you know how many bags of these things I have at home? One. But only because I ate the other three.

NOT DEAD / MY BROTHER IS HILARIOUS

Guys, I'm not dead, but this workload I've got sure is a killer! Ah haw haw haw!* Also, the Great Westward Migration of Friends has begun -- people I dig tremendously are moving to San Francisco, and my social calendar is getting all kinds of full.

I leave you with this tidbit of pure wisdom from my brother in Chicago:

"I was in Walgreens the other day and on an impulse buy saw they had Star Wars Pez dispensers. Although they only had Boba Fett, Chewie and the Emperor. I went with Chewie, whose head is massive, even on a Pez dispenser. I may go back and get Boba Fett, but I dont want the Emperor's wrinkly face feeding me my Pez."

* Sorry about that.

I SHOULD REALLY BE ASLEEP

And I am going to bed after I hit Publish Post, but I wanted you to know that there are three new postcards. I made them over the weekend and just got around to putting them up now. That's the way it works! Oh man I gotta get up in six hours.

IT IS NOW FRIDAY

DOCTOR ZAIUS DOCTOR ZAIUS
DOCTOR ZAIUS DOCTOR ZAIUS
DOCTOR ZAIUS DOCTOR ZAIUS
WHOAA DOCTOR ZAIUS

(DOCTOR ZAIUS DOCTOR ZAIUS)



I would like to thank the internet for making today's post possible.

ANNOUNCEMENT

That does it; I'm officially switching "celebrity crushes" from Claire Forlani to Kari Byron. I think it may be important to make a note of this here and now, like updating what your favorite color is or whether or not you think mayonnaise is disgusting.*

If you don't know who Kari Byron is, good. That means less competition.

* Tie between red and blue, and yes it is.

HOLY TEMPLE OF SPIKINESS

In the park they've made out of Octavia between Fell and Hayes, there's a really great jungle gym made of ropes. There's also a crazy temple-like structure that apparently went up overnight, or within some similarly ridiculous span of time. I hear it was built by an artist (or a team of artists) who do this for Burning Man every year. All I know is that it's fantastically crazy-looking, as though a team of carpenters did a lot of drugs and decided to erect a temple to the concepts of spines and holes with just their nailguns and jigsaws.

My buddy Josh and I went to take a look on Saturday; we took pictures. I'm linking them because they're big.

The whole thing

From closer up

From inside, looking up into the roof

I have no idea how long this thing's going to be there, nor what will be put up in its place once it's gone; it just seems somehow too ephemeral to be kept up for too long. But while it's there, I'm going to tell everyone I know to go see it.

ONE MORE MARK AGAINST

Another example of JiggleCam(TM), my least-favorite cinematic technique ever, can be found in The Bourne Supremacy, whose action scenes were apparently filmed with a $5 camcorder and a $200,000 bag of speed. If that fun-looking assassin movie with BrAd & AnGeLiNa OmG!!!1!! gets the same treatment, I'm going to go looking for a certain director/cinematographer pair with a knapsack of railroad spikes and a big mallet.

I know this seems like a silly thing to get worked up about, but I have this thing about action movies. That thing is that in an action movie, the action should not be hard to see. That is what we came for. Please let us see it. The action we want to see should not give us a headache. Motherfuckers.

Everybody have a good weekend; I'm going to just lie around and probably read more of my food science book. It is outstanding.

I DON'T THINK SO

Last night I dreamed that the earth had been invaded by some alien force or organism that:

- Caused the sky to become cloudy all the time
- Laid a coating of black, viscous slime all over literally everything

There was a press conference where the President apologized for not being able to do anything about it; there was a general air of doom to the entire dream, as though this was pretty much the end of us as a species.

Also, the President was Johnny Depp. I am going to have to tell you guys that Johnny Depp does not a convincing President make. I am sorry about this.