JUST STOP ALREADY

As most of us probably do, I keep a Yahoo mail account around for all of the bullshit corporate signup email I need to have an address handy for. When I open it, it always gives me the top five headlines off Yahoo news, and for the past I-don't-know-how-long, I've been seeing a story pop up that takes the form of

Job Losses (Dip/Rise)* Unexpectedly This Week/Month; Employers/Job Seekers (Optimistic/Discouraged)*

* One of these two words will be used. How do you know which one? What month is it? What's the phase of the moon? Flip a coin.

Is shit getting better or not? Who the fuck knows? Not these people, from what it sounds like. Can we relax with this bullshit and get a report on some other metric that's actually fucking useful, from professionals who know what they're talking about? I'd be interested in that. This is just an idea I'm having. Don't give me any bullshit about whether that type of news is actually available in the Wall Street Journal or some other specialty magazine or paper or some crap -- this is news everybody should be getting with their Yahoo mail like me.

Actually, as long as I'm bitching about something vaguely related to Yahoo, what's the deal with their ad campaign about "making the web personal"? Was my web browsing not ... personal before? Was there someone else standing next to my computer this whole time making my decisions for me on what I wanted to see? Who was that asshole?