IT BEATS THE ALTERNATIVE

As long as we've got idiots like Glenn Beck on TV talking a bunch of shit about things he literally knows nothing about, I propose a new show: WORLD OF FACTS.

WORLD OF FACTS is a 30-minute news-magazine type show featuring highly photogenic or entertaining people delivering informational segments and interviews on subjects that they have never researched or even been introduced to in their lives, interspersed with feats of physical prowess for absolutely no reason whatsoever. It's going to be awesome.

"Tonight on WORLD OF FACTS! Megan Fox presents the history of the Ottoman Empire! Chris Pine stops by to explain the life cycle of the coconut crab! Kermit the Frog debates health care with a drunk, stoned Method Man! Summer Glau and Felicia Day shoot propane tanks with incendiary bullets! Warren Ellis tells you what's in your children's drinking water! And finally, Trent Reznor and Andrew WK have a push-up contest."

Do I know anybody who can make this happen immediately?