OLFACTMYSTERY

On Friday when I left the office, I smelled something terrible as soon as I walked out the door -- kind of a strange, manure-like odor. It turns out a bunch of people smelled it. All over the city. Are we ever going to find out what in the fuck that was? How can something smell like that over the entire city of San Francisco?

- I don't think we experienced a massive, city-wide sewer malfunction; I'm guessing I'd've heard about that
- To my knowledge, there are no farms or massive animal rendering plants within city limits
-- If there were, I'd bet we'd've smelled it before, and it would be a known thing
- I did not witness an army of trucks festooned with animal parts and fecal matter driving through the whole of the city at high speed, flinging garbage everywhere

After I'd been home for a bit and saw reports of the weird stink popping up literally everywhere thanks to Twitter, I started to consider much stranger theories:

- Someone killed a god, and its vast, invisible body is floating above the city and beginning to decay
- Aliens landed for a mission of observation, and were walking among us wearing cloaking devices that emitted radiation that stimulated the human olfactory nerve in a way that was not anticipated

Can you think of a more plausible explanation? And don't say "chemtrails."