BROUGHT TO YOU BY CROGNALE & THATE

Lore Sjoberg has created a monster. Ostensibly, it's a generator for a comedy duo act that simply pulls random last names from a database of about 88,000. What it really is, is a thing that will spark the imagination in tiny, weird ways. Endlessly.

- Duenwald & Helbert: The paunchiest, most boring attorneys imaginable. Duenwald in particular probably wears Dwight Schrute glasses and has a terrible combover.

- Buyak & Daskam: They're crime lords from Eastern Europe who are never seen apart and cannot be wounded by conventional weaponry.

- Elcock & Cirino: Holy shit! An unstoppable Mexican wrestling act! One of them wears a rooster mask, and the other is an Italian stereotype with the biggest, Mario-est mustache in the whole damn world!

- Haefele & Ditsch: A couple of German realtors whose parents were pals. They specialize in Tudor homes your aunts and uncles probably saw in a magazine somewhere.

I could do this literally all damn day.