I DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR NACHOS

It's too early in the morning to have a stomachache. Nevertheless, that seems to be what's going on. Was it the nachos I had for dinner last night (which were delicious, in spite of being technically leftovers)? Couldn't be; it just started now. Maybe it was the banana? Should I stay away from bananas until they're just a liiiiiittle bit more ripe? What happens if I need potassium, people?

What then?