PRODUCTBLOG ETERNAL

Lest you think otherwise, this blog is not going to become an endless series of open letters to companies that make things. However.

Dear Champion Apparel or whatever you call yourselves -- the guys who make a lot of athletic wear -- I don't mean to jump to rash conclusions or anything, but did a woman design your boxer briefs, or a man without a penis, or simply an individual who somehow devalues convenience? Because there's no slit in the front for when I need to "offload some liquid cargo." I don't know if you've heard, but this is something other underwear has; other manufacturers' boxer briefs, even.

If it turns out you even make boxer briefs that do have the slit in front, maybe put that on your packaging a little more prominently. I am a busy man with not a lot of time to spend scrutinizing every aspect of every item within reach of me.