I AM A NATURALIST OF SOME RENOWN

We need to talk for just a second about animals and how come Australia has all the best ones. A quick look around the Presidio of San Francisco will probably yield results like

- Some skunks
- Couple coyotes
- Birds
-- Owls
-- Pelicans
-- Seagulls
-- Quail, I guess
- Raccoons

I'm just going to say it. Australia has us beat on two fronts: Their animals are better, and their names are better. Listen:

- Dingos
- Wallabies
- Wombats
- Kangaroos
- Koalas
- Bandicoots
- Platypuses
- Pademelons*
- Quokkas
- Quolls

I'm eventually going to visit that place, and I intend to see as many of these creatures as I can, if only to verify their existence for myself. I know they're on Wikipedia and everything, but I mean, it's Wikipedia.

* An informal survey of all my American friends reveals that none of us has ever heard of pademelons before, ever. Are they an Australian state secret? What else are they hiding? ... Wambadoos?