RED BULL CONTAINS SUGAR

INT - A HOTEL ROOM IN THE CITY OF LAS VEGAS, NEVADA

It's morning, and our hero JON finds himself awake after falling asleep roughly four hours ago after a night characterized mostly by the sound of pouring vodka and the crack-hiss of Red Bull cans opening. JON throws an arm over his eyes, moving as though his bones have been replaced with splintering wood and his nerves with rusting wire, and smacks his lips as he comes to a realization.

JON: It tastes like a My Little Pony shat in my mouth.