YOUR CORPORATE MATH IS BULLSHIT

Downstairs there's a list of goals or something for the IT Department to look at every time they want to go to the bathroom, and one of them is:

R =/= NR + E (Results don't equal No Results plus an Explanation)

I call the most bullshit on this. "No results plus an explanation" is absolutely a fucking result. It's just not the result the company wants. I thought of a plausible one right here in the time it took me to type this sentence:

Q: Hey dudes, can you fix the email server, that shit is running slow.
A: No, actually, we can't, because it's running on outdated hardware. You have to buy a new server if you want us to upgrade it.

And I don't even work in IT. I can't imagine what it must be like to look at that stupid sentence every time you just want to go empty your bladder. It's on a really big sign with a bunch of other mottos and guidelines, too, so it's not like they could take it down without violating their mission statements or whatever. Poor bastards.