SIR BLINKS-A-LOT

Something weird is happening with my eyes today. This isn't the first time it's happened, but it's nine hells of annoying. Basically they just feel like they're dry all the time. I've been blinking and squinching my eyes, trying to get them to water, and it sort of helps, but the feeling never quite goes away entirely.

Drinking even more water today, in case my bodily fluids (or "humours") have become dangerously depleted ("de-pleat'd").