ON PINEAPPLES

You guys, I have not blogged about pineapples for a while because of a failure. I failed at pineapples. What happened was this: I bought one, and then I left it on my table for way too long. I kept walking past it thinking, "I should cut that up soon," but for some reason I never got around to it. And then it was too late.

I just bought one yesterday, though, and I definitely didn't fail this time!

THE SECRET TO EATING THE FUCK OUT OF SOME DELICIOUS PINEAPPLE IS THIS:

- Buy one in the afternoon and put it in your car for the rest of the day. This has the effect of making your entire car smell fantastic.
- As soon as you get home, cut it up right then and there! Don't wait for anything else to happen.

Right now there's a repurposed yogurt container sitting in my fridge at home full of fresh juicy pineapple slices. This can be your life too! Unless you're in a place where you can't buy pineapples, I guess. Or you don't like them for some reason.

I can't help all of you.